Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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