The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
my liver is dry heaving
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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