I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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