Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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