Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
