yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
