Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
