I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
