it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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