Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
