It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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