i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
