Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
