Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
