This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
