Betty ford says i'm here all night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
