Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize