so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
