Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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