i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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