Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What a dumb baby whore.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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