i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
