You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
