Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize