32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
