Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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