This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
