Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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