i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
