If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
