well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
