it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
