No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
