No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
