he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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