I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
