Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
