I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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