Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
