We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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