Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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