Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
