He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
