Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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