hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
