Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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