It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
