it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
