Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
