Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize