the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
